ATTENTION . . .

*ATTENTION*

This is an extremely important announcement...

I will no longer be posting on this blog.

Do not fear for I have created a new one and I shall be posting on there from this point forward.

I feel I have grown and changed since starting this one almost two years ago and I think it is time to start afresh as I feel disconnected from this one and don't feel I can get back into the swing of things in this particular corner of the world wide web.

The new blog address is 

crazystupidjazz.blogspot.co.uk

I would love it if each and every one of you joined me over there as I love those of you that keep on reading time and time again and it would be a shame to lose such lovely people in my internet life!

Whilst I am here I just want to say a massive thank you to those that have been reading my updates and I hope to see you over in the new space!

See you there

Jazz 

xxx

The Friend Zone . . .

The 'Friend Zone', that wonderful place full of 'it's not you it's me', 'let's just be friends' and other classic one liners to make an individual go from cloud 9 straight back to earth and hit the ground, face first, in a split second!

Whether we are putting someone in the 'Friend Zone' or we are being sent there ourselves, it is one place we all dread! We don't want to send anyone there and we certainly don't want anyone to put us there!

 I have recently been spending time with a guy who I am starting to develop feelings for. We talk from the moment I wake up to the moment I am falling asleep because I have stayed up too late texting.

Everything has been going well, we have had a few dates, I even met the parents! Granted this was purely an accidental meet but I have met them none the less. We have both expressed that we are looking to settle down and we are not wanting to play games. This is going somewhere! ... Or so I thought!

Last night he whacked out the old 'Can we just be friends' line which quite honestly felt like he had kicked me several times in the ribs and stomach ... then ran over my cat! To say I am devastated would be an understatement.

For some reason this guy seemed different to the others. He ticked all of the boxes and is a genuine, nice guy which lets be fair, is rare these days. He got under my skin and started to consume all of my thoughts. A part of me started to wonder if this was it, if this was the start of my future happiness. Clearly not. 

The reasons he gave were understandable to a degree but obviously still upsetting and made my self confidence plummet.

So internet friends I hereby announce a change of address. I am packing up my things and making the friend zone my permanent place of residence. Keep your eyes peeled for your change of address notification in the post.

So far, the friend zone doesn't seem too bad. It's full of laughter and fun as opposed to heartache and upset. Who knows how long I will stay here, until I meet someone new maybe? I can't say. One thing I do know, when it is time to pack and move back to the land of relationships, I will have a few life lessons learnt to help me along the way.

Until next time!

xxx

Keeping It Lippy . . .

Ok, ok, before you say it, I know I went off the radar yet again and I left you without my pearls of wisdom for some time. The truth is ... I haven't really had anything to write about. I lead a pretty boring life the majority of the time!

That being said ... A couple of weeks ago something relatively exciting happened. Well I thought it was anyway. 

I HAD LIP FILLERS!

I have mentioned on many occasions that this is a procedure I have wanted done for some time and after a lengthy conversation with one of my guy mates I decided to bite the bullet and go for it.

I called the Alexandra Clinic in Chester, Cheshire, United Kingdom and I booked myself in for my free consultation. The first thing I noticed from the moment the phone was answered was the exceptional level of customer service. 

When the time came for my consultation I ended up getting stuck in traffic and when I arrived at the clinic I was offered a drink and asked if I was ok. I then went into the consultation room where the nurse that would do the procedure gave me information about the different types of fillers they offer, how the procedure takes place and answered all of my burning questions.

Another thing I thought was fantastic was the advice I was given. I was recommended to have only half a syringe in my top lip as it would make my lip fuller and even out my lips as my bottom lip is quite full anyway. Not at any point did I feel like it was all about sales and taking as much money from me as possible, I felt like the nurse understood exactly what I wanted from the procedure.

Once I had all the information and had all of my questions answered I decided when I was to have the fillers I would have half a syringe as recommended of the Juvederm brand as this is the best on the market.

I booked myself in for a few weeks later and started the countdown immediately.

The day finally came around and it is fair to say I was PETRIFIED! Not that anything was to go wrong but I have a ridiculous fear of needles. 

As soon as I walked in the nurse made me feel completely at ease and straight away I felt more relaxed. She went through exactly how the procedure would take place and what it would feel like.

I lay back on the bed and straight away I shut my eyes to avoid catching a glimpse at the syringe as there was a 99% chance if I saw it I would run away as far as I could go!

I first had local anaesthetic injected into two places on my right side and two places on my left. This was injected into the inside of my lip and as it is all fleshy there I hardly felt it at all. 

The next part of the process was to inject the fillers. This again was injected into two places either side, this time, on the lip line. By the time the Juvederm itself was injected, the anaesthetic had well and truly kicked in and I didn't feel a thing!

Here are some pics of before, during, after and well after:

*Before*

*During*

*One Hour After*

*One Day After*

*Two Days After*

At first, as you can see, there was a lot of swelling. The majority of it went down 2 days later, they fully healed after about a week. It has taken me a while for my top lip to feel completely normal as around the lip line it felt very hard but now it feels completely soft like the natural lip line does.

I am so pleased with the result as the overall look is completely natural and I didn't want that obvious 'I have had my lips done' look and the nurse achieved this perfectly.

The advised time the fillers last is 6-12 months but there has been cases of them lasting up to around 3 years. When the time comes for me to decide whether I will be having them again my answer will be a definite resounding YES!!! In fact I am even tempted to go for bigger next time!

Until next time

xxx

When The Penny Drops . . .

Lust ... The most deadliest of the seven sins, well, for me anyway! This obviously comes hand in hand with greed. When I have cake, I want to eat it too, not a crumb left.

For a little over 12 months I have been involved with a guy when I know I shouldn't, for reasons that don't need to see the light of day, for now anyway. Our relationship has been a whirlwind of excitement, passion and deeper feelings. The only problem is we can't be anything but a secret. One which only comes alive behind closed doors.

Whilst I have been recovering from my operation over the last couple of weeks it has really given me time to think about where our relationship is going and where our story might end up. I know in my head we have to remain tight lipped on our romance and in that respect we are at a dead end. My heart however, it just can't let go. The feelings I have go back nearly 10 years and I have never really been able to shake them.

Despite the direction in which my heart is pulling me, my head had one big reality check the other day which made me question everything I am doing and what I am going to do about it.

We had arranged to meet. He would come to my house and see me during my recovery, make sure I was ok etc. I felt completely awful due to the recovery so I made up for it the only way I know how. I put on a face full of make up, styled my hair, threw on a push up bra and a gorgeous satin and lace slinky camisole tunic. I lit some candles, dimmed the lights (to avoid him noticing the bags under my eyes), I really had made an effort. 

I lay on my bed watching some 'Gossip Girl' and checked my phone.     He was due to arrive in no more than 5 minutes and my heart started to race as I hadn't seen him for a while. My phone then beeped and as I opened the message that popped up ...

He had cancelled!

Apparently he had been met after work by someone which he wasn't expecting and we would need to reschedule. 

So while I was changing into my comfy pjs, blowing out candles and removing my make up I couldn't help but question everything I was doing! There was me making more effort than I could physically cope with and him, walking round without a care in the world that he had cancelled his plans with me.

Whilst the past year or so has been so much fun and I have got more out of it than a lot of people would know, I have no choice but to end whatever it is we have and continue my quest for love! 

Until next time ...

Jazz 

xxx

Three Little Words . . .

These days that little four letter word people once were scared to say is used so frequently that somewhere, the meaning has got lost in translation, along with romance, chivalry and everything that comes with it.

People used to put so much effort into how they would tell their partners they loved them, some feared hearing those 8 letters, those 3 words, I love you. Now people just 'love that sweater', 'love' pizza or just 'love that song'. There is no greater meaning to it, it isn't special, it is simply another word we use to express our feelings towards our new dress we bought at the weekend.

Is this where I am going wrong in my quest for love? Chivalry and romance is practically non existent these days and maybe true love is dying too! These days we have to resort to online dating or a drunken night out to meet anyone, whatever happened to being asked out to dinner? Hell, I'd settle for a coffee! 

Am I expecting too much from the modern man. A few flowers, doors being held open and being chased is what I long for! Instead I get a message lacking vowels online, doors shut in my face and the occasional chest stare, not really the romance I long for.

Is it so wrong that I want a guy to send me flowers with a card on telling me to meet him at a restaurant at 8pm?! Surely that's one of the basics in how to woo a woman! Instead we get a vague ask to 'do something sometime' ... WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?! 

Ladies! We need to make a stand and bring back the reign of chivalry and romance! We need the era of grand gestures and true good old fashioned love back! Who's with me??

Until next time 

Jazz

xxx

I May Have Lost My Mind . . .

Last week I went under the knife, no I didn't have some form of extreme makeover to make me look like a supermodel extraordinaire, I had a laparoscopy due to the good old condition of mine - Endometriosis.

Prior to my operation I thought with my two weeks off I would have a million posts written along with all the witty headlines to capture your attention and enlighten you into what is happening within my bubble. 

The truth is, enduring copious amounts of pain, gorging on an obscene amount of chocolate and the lack of the ability to shower properly doesn't make for entertaining reading!

Having the time off has given me lots of time to think and it has left me more confused than ever before. I thought I would be able to see what my heart wants and who it wants. This is what my brain has come up with ...

Yes, a big pile of WHAT THE EFF!!!

I am hoping that in my return to normality my brain reinstates itself as a fully functioning organ.

Whether it will or not ... Well that's only for time to tell!

Until next time

Jazz

xxx

Written In The Stars . ..

Astrology, whether you believe in it or not, we all have a glance at our horoscopes from time to time. 

When you read up on astrology and star signs in particular, it generally gives an overview of the characteristics particular to each sign, along with flowers, gemstones and numbers. 

As you read along you find out about what they like and dislike, what they are like with money and what sort of partner they are. 

A couple of days ago, a colleague of mine brought to work her 2014 astrology book. As I was reading through I noticed a section with the top cities connected to each. I looked and found that for my sign (Gemini) the very first city listed was Cardiff. As you know I recently went down to Cardiff for a long weekend and now I am saving to move there. As you can imagine reading this was a massive surprise and it got me thinking. 

Are our lives already mapped out for us? Are the choices we make, the people we meet, the people we love already there, pre programmed into our minds just waiting for their moment to arise? Is everything we do part of the game of life?

I wonder what happens if we manage to veer off our chosen paths. Would it be a car crash from the word go or would we end up in a different but oddly happy place?

What will my next move will be? I shall roll the dice and let you know!

Until next time

Jazz

xxx