There Is Always That One . ..

I once read that we all have one person who will always be our 'nearly'. That one person who no matter what, you will love eternally but you just can never be with.

Until recently I thought this was simply no more than an old wives tale. Oh how wrong could I be!

No matter how many dates I go on, no matter who I get involved with, my thoughts always come back to one particular person. Especially since I have found out he is BACK IN TOWN! Yes it may only be for a few days, yes it is highly unlikely I will bump into him but still my mind refuses to stop going into complete and utter melt down mode.

Each and every one of my thoughts is being consumed with thoughts of 'what ifs'. Along with that also comes years of heartache, tears but most of all love. Unfortunately it was mostly on my part, in fact I would go as far to say it was only on my part.

I look back though and I can't feel any regrets towards him first coming into my life as over the years he has given me the feeling of being loved.

The most beneficial part of time is that it makes that hazy picture in your head suddenly crystal clear and as opposed to regretting the things we have done or the things we feel, we embrace the lessons taught and what we have learnt along the way. 

Sometimes we just have to accept that sometimes, no matter how much we fight, the battle was over before it began.

Can we ever move on from these people? Probably not. Will we forever feel like teenagers when thinking of them? Most likely. Will there be a time where we only look back and smile? Now that I'm sure of!

Until next time.

Jazz
xxx

Ripping Off A Band Aid . . .

When life hands us a decision to make, more often than not, it is one we don't want to make. Some people make lists of pros and cons, some people toss a coin and some people look at the cold hard facts. Some situations can be a win, win for everyone but 9 times out of 10 someone winds up getting hurt. 

Today I have had to make a few decisions. It has been a day for tying up some loose ends, or at least working on it in some cases. My approach - tough love and cold hard facts.

Recently I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be one of the sweetest I have met. Since, we have said we would like to meet up again but as neither of us drive and bus links are pretty shoddy between our two towns 40 minutes apart, this is yet to happen.

Today I made the really tough decision to tell him I didn't think we should continue fooling ourselves and that we were at a dead end. Obviously other factors have contributed to this and I haven't just binned him over a drivers license. This has left me feeling worse, as now I not only feel like a terrible person but another chance of eternal happiness and a ticket out of single town has just slipped through my fingers!

I have also made the decision that I am going to tell my latest crush that he is exactly that. This will take a little more time, careful planning and I will need to be extremely tactile as this confession comes with complications. What they are you'll just have to wait and see! Wish me luck!

Until next time ...

Jazz
xxx 

Changes . . .

As things grow in life, they change and for the most part, the better ... even us!

The older we get the more we grow and change. This past year I have grown considerably and I am changing constantly. One thing that hasn't changed in a long time is this very blog you are reading!

As you can see I have had a little revamp around here and you shall see more improvements over the next couple of weeks. I have changed the name of the blog as you guys really do hear ALL about that Jazz ... (see what I did there)!

As I am still computer-less I have invested in a gorgeous, shiny, brand spanking new tablet so I can keep you all updated on my life on a more regular basis!

I hope you all embrace these changes as much as I do!

Until next time!

Jazz 

xxx

Woman On A Mission . . .

I don't know about any of you ladies but when I see an attractive guy whether it be walking down the street, on the bus or in a cafe my whole entire body language and facial expressions change!

Whilst I was on the train yesterday, I caught myself completely changing my body language and facial expressions and ... I couldn't stop!!!

A gorgeous hunk of a man got on the train and sat on a seat facing me and I could see him a tiny bit. When I saw him, I immediately adjusted my position, sat up straight and starting doing this weird half smile/half pout thing which no normal human being ever does! Why on earth did I start doing this now?!

I moved so he could see just half my face and every now and then I looked up and made eye contact just for a few seconds. I was like a male peacock puffing up to attract their lady suiters. Why, why, why do I do this. Is it just me?

It got me thinking and I have realised that every time I see an attractive guy I start pushing out my chest, doing a god awful ridiculous pout smile and flicking my hair like there is no tomorrow ... WHAT IS THIS????!!!!

Surely a nice smile and a little eye contact and a hello would do the trick but ... no! My animal instincts kick in and I start doing these ridiculous things as I think they are going to attract the opposite sex!

When us ladies get ready for a night out we do our hair, slap on the make up and tan until we look like mahogany goddesses all in the hope of attracting the opposite sex. I am pretty sure guys would appreciate us more if we went over and actually said hi as opposed to doing all the hair flicking, dancing by them and pouting!

Please please please can any of you ladies tell me that it's not just me and that you do it too!!!

Jazz
xxx

Public Transport Etiquette . . .

Over the recent months I have spent more and more time travelling on public transport and I have noticed, on each and every one there is definitely a different level of etiquette and even our levels of trust change.

To put it more simply for example when we are travelling on the bus, the majority of us are inclined to sit on the seat nearest the isle with our bags on the seat next to us as an indication to fellow passengers that if they even dare to attempt to sit in this empty seat they will get 'the glare'. We are also very protective over our belongings when someone approaches us as our minds are convinced whoever it is, even the frail old lady with her purple rinse, will steal our bags and leave us with nothing!

However, our mind set completely changes when it comes to travelling on trains. Our level of trust seems to increase and there is almost an invisible code that we all abide by. We leave our cases in the specific designated areas without a care in the world and just trust that no one is going to take it and do a mad dash with it at the next stop whilst we sit half way down the carriage. 

Today whilst I was on a relatively longish train journey a guy happily got up and out of his seat leaving his bag open, his phone on the tray and happily left it all whilst he went to the toilet. Call me sceptical but who is he to trust me, let alone the other passengers on the train.

What is it about stepping onto the train that completely changes our judgement of the world and we trust everybody on the train. I mean let's be honest ... when we are standing on the platform waiting for said train we are wary of EVERYONE!!! That guy in the hoodie, that hipster looking girl in skinny jeans and a 90s backpack, to the old couple scoping everyone out on the bench, we trust no one. So why does all of this change when we happily step on to the train?!

Are there any other situations when we put all of our trust in people this much??? ... No, so why now?

Just one of the many wonders that go through my mind on a daily basis! Can you think of any other times we are so trusting of people?

Enjoy your day :)

Jazz

xxx

Medication Monday ...

First of all I would like to point out that the title of this post isn't condoning any of you to start taking random prescribed medication nor am I saying strong medication is by any means a good thing. With that said let us crack on with todays post ...

As those of you who have been reading my blog for a while or those who know me personally will know, I am suffering from a chronic illness called Endometriosis. Yes this is a rather long and hard to say name so for short we like to call it 'Endo'. I have briefly talked about this condition in a few posts last March as every year March is Endometriosis Awareness Month. 

As march is fast approaching you will see more posts about the condition and what it is exactly then but for now to keep this post a relatively short one and one that won't make your brain feel like it is about to implode from all the information you will be reading. In brief Endometriosis is a horrible condition which is to do with womens time of the month lets say, it can lead to other things such as insomnia, depression and even infertility. 

Now some women also suffer with chronic pain with this condition, others feel no pain at all. This is by no means an indication of how bad these women suffer. For me, I suffer A LOT of pain. Back in March 2013 I had to quit my job as the pain was so horrific. Up until last week the doctors and hospital have been really bad in giving me any form of medication to ease the pain and have only been giving 500mg ibuprofen tablets or coedine. Both of these have not touched the pain I have been suffering with, to be honest, they don't even get rid of a headache for me!

I visited my doctors surgery last week and I finally got prescribed some strong medication in the form of Tramadol. If you don't know what Tramadol is, it is basically like I say a very strong medication where the next thing up is liquid morphine! I have been taking this and thankfully it has made my pain minimal. I recently got a new job and the tablets are helping so much I immediately feel slightly relieved.

Now, of course, with all medication it has it's side effects. The first day I took it I felt almost drunk. I was really tired, my whole body felt as light as air and I definitely felt like my head wasn't on this planet. Since then it has not affected me quite as bad and it has just made me feel quite sick on occasions. This seems to have settled down now also which is a bonus!

One thing the medication seems to have affected the most is my memory. I am forgetting so many things, not to the point in which they seem vague. No, no, to the point where I have no recollection of certain things at all. For exmaple, On Friday I asked one of my best girl friends if we could Skype as I hadn't spoken to her for a good week or two and I wanted to fill her in on my doctors appointment and my recent date etc. During our conversation I mentioned how I needed to fill her in on everything and as I started to tell her she said she already knew as I had spoken to her on Wednesday! I actually have no recollection of ever being on the phone to her only a few days ago ... scary stuff!

Another thing about this medication is that I can't drink alcohol whilst taking them which will be pretty much forever! Which is kind of rubbish but at the end of the day I would choose my health over alcohol anyday. Plus I am equally as fun sober as I am drunk!

Have you ever had any medication that has made you have any weird side effects?

xxx

Bejazzled Designs ...

SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT!

For a long time I have wanted to do something creative and be able to set up a shop on Etsy and start selling my creations. Although I had the initial drive there, the question I had in my mind was ... what? What was I going to create?

Towards the end of last year I started doodling on a bit of paper and I created my first Bejazzled Design. It was then that everything just seemed to fit into place. From then on I carried on putting my designs on to cards and more recently I have been creating custom canvases for people.

Here are some pictures of just a few of my designs.

These are just a select few of the many Bejazzled Designs you will find on my Etsy store. There are several ways you can keep up to date with us. 

 Twitter

 Facebook

 Etsy

If you are wanting any more information about any of our designs or want to ask about your own custom design you can always send us an email at bejazzleddesigns@outlook.com

Enjoy your day =)

Jazz

xxx